He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
