found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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