Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
