Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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