What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
