Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
