Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
