his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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