my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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