I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
