He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
