we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
