You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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