when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
