I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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