But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my phone needs a breathalizer
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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