Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize