Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
