I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
