Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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