You're completely useless in the revolution.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize