I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
