could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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