what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
