Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
