Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
