google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
