dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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