Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
