Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
