Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
