that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
