I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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