That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
