It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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