i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I could fuck to npr.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
