Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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