and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
