I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
