the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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