called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize