i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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