Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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