you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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