He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
