I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
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My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
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Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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