she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
