Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
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I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
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He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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