Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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