i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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