wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
