Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My liver just had a heart attack.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
God, I missed his penis.
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