Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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