..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
