hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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