Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize