Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Success! We fucked roommates!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
