What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
