And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
