Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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