Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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