My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
