Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
