do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
