So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
