I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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