Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize