have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
