Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
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That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
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YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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