Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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