is your mom at the bar?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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